It’s six days out from last week’s TEDx Grand Rapids event and I’m still processing.

TED events are well-known for their brief, powerful speaker presentations proffering Big Ideas (see my list of quotes from the 2012 TEDx Grand Rapids speakers).  Frankly, A TEDx event can be daunting—such BIG ideas, presented by people with amazing stories and credentials. The crowd is daunting—700 people who had to apply to attend.

It could be easy to feel small in such a sweeping context. Happily, it’s not at all that way . What’s great about a TEDx event is that if you pay attention, you’ll see unlimited opportunities to make a difference. My take-away from this year’s TEDx experience is that making a difference doesn’t always need to be the grand gesture. It can be a simple, yet meangingful one-to-one interaction.

For example, the event organizers showed a TED video clip of Laura Trice who talked about giving praise . . . and how, even though people crave praise, we think it’s not acceptable to ask for it. Laura reminds us, that it is ok to ask for praise. And it’s also super-easy (and FREE!) to give praise. One person can make a huge impact on the life of a fellow human being.

Following this idea of “making a difference” in small ways, I made an extra effort to create meaningful connections at each scheduled break and with all the people seated around me at the Civic Theatre. Here’s a quick run-down of some of my interactions, which shows the diversity of the people one can meet at a TEDx event:

•  Jake – a Kendall College student studying furniture design, who asked me for career advice.
• Jason – a recent WMU graduate, who’s looking to make a difference by going into fundraising.
• Molly – a food truck owner  – The Silver Spork – I gave her tips on how to use Twitter to help promote her business.
• Rick – we met in line waiting for coffee. I read his nametag and said, “I’ve hired you to work for me!” but we had never met in person. He peered at my name badge and said, “You’re right! Nice to meet you!” Three years ago, Rick designed graphics for my blog; up until last Thursday we had conducted business strictly by phone and email. This was our first face-to-face (and completely unexpected!) meeting.

By opening your vision about what it means to “make a difference”—be it simple career advice for a college student or dispensing social media tips to an entrepreneur, you can feel solid in the fact that you are making a difference each day.

You have the power to create connections every day. How will you make those connections meaningful?

You can hear more about my thoughts on creating meaningful connections at TEDx Grand Rapids in this brief interview conducted by Josh Leng on his Live at Five segment for WJRW Talk Radio last Friday.

photo credit: istockphoto.com

I love “people equations”—any formula (scientific or otherwise) that can provide a framework that helps us interact more effectively with clients, peers, suppliers, leaders, and team members. I recently encountered an article that quoted positive-psychology expert Martin Seligman as saying that he uses something called the “Losada Ratio” when talking with people he cares about. 

 Never heard of the Losada Ratio? Me either, so I checked it out.

According to Dr. Seligman, the ratio (named after team dynamics consultant Marcial Losada) should be 5:1. In other words, in deeply committed relationships (spouse, child, best friend) you should make five positive statements for every one negative statement.

According to other research the ratio is closer to 3:1 in the workplace.

Think about this for a moment.

What if, for the next hour of your life, you made a conscious effort to direct your energy into affirming, positive statements? Not a fake, meaningless, “Hey, great job!”, but a sincere, well-thought out acknowledgement. “Sarah, I’d like to compliment you on how you handled that situation with the Purchasing Department update. I could see that tensions were starting to boil over and you stayed calm. It was really helpful when you turned to Jamie and asked for a recap of the budget numbers. That seemed to refocus the group.”

Go through the last 10 emails you sent. What’s your Losada Ratio in your written word? Do your words inspire people to take heart or deflate?

Encouraging words uplift. Judging words kill motivation.

What will you do today to improve your ratio of encouragement?

photo credit: istockphoto.com

Patti Lamberti is a professional in residence who teaches courses in journalism and new media at Loyola University Chicago’s School of Communication. In her post Tech Savants, she gives us the rundown on what twenty-something’s think about a mainstream workplace communication tool:

“Email is for old people.”

Ouch.

Anybody who’s had a conversation (or more likely, a text exchange) with a college undergraduate will not be completely surprised by this sentiment, but I suspect that many college graduates would be surprised to find out that their preferred communication choices don’t always translate well when they join the workforce.

In the interest of helping ease the college-to-workplace transition, I’m going to set aside my orthopedic shoes and walker for a moment and give a bit of advice to undergraduates hoping to land a decent job after college. Here goes:

We “old people” (think: older than Facebook’s 28 year-old Mark Zuckerberg) are still running the show at most companies. So, beside the prehistoric company email system you’re going to need to master, here are some changes you’ll need to make in your communication to make a successful transition from college life to the workplace.

You will have to actually speak to people. While a college student’s communication lifeblood is texting, that’s not the case in most office settings. If your new job requires you to be in a space with other human beings you will have to actually converse with them. This means looking them in the eye and carrying on a thoughtful conversation. Yes, some people will be snarky or whiny, but that’s part of learning how to get along with people at work.

When you’re at work, you may not be able to check Facebook. Shocking, I know! Company policies vary on the use of Facebook, but even the most progressive places will want you to limit your personal updates to your break times. Oh, and when you do update? Keep the nasty commentary about your dragon-lady boss or smelly co-workers out of your Facebook feed. It will come back to haunt you.

It’s rude to use a cell phone when someone is talking to you. This one is tricky— company cultures vary and you may see some people checking their phones constantly during meetings. So, it may be considered acceptable. I still go old-school on this and say it’s rude to do so during meetings. The one time it’s always considered rude— when you’re having an important conversation with someone. Again, it goes back to that eye-contact thing— co-workers expect it, especially we middle-aged types.

You will need to cut down on multi-tasking. In college you may have simultaneously watched TV, studied for your poli-sci exam, updated your Flikr account and texted your friends across campus. But the reality is that you suck at multitasking. We all do. And, even if you were a multi-tasking genius in school, you won’t be granted complete control over your work surroundings. You may be in a cubicle that’s so tiny that your nearest co-worker will still be able to hear your music coming through your ear buds. And that co-worker may not like your taste in music.

Feeling frustrated by all these “rules”? Don’t let it get to you. It does take some time to adjust to the structure of a workplace setting. And the upside is that if you’ve chosen your first job wisely, people in your office will (mostly) be energized by your youthful enthusiasm and your up-to-date technical skills. Who knows, you may even be able teach your co-workers a few things about technology.

Even if we’re old.

The other day I attended a webinar led by Al Switzler, co-author of the books Crucial Conversations and Influencer. During the webinar Al made this point about interacting with colleagues:

If your response to frustrating conversations is to increase the frequency of your key point or the volume of your delivery, but you don’t change the content of your message, then you will remain stuck in your current situation. 

This is especially true in a leader-follower dynamic. Think about someone you lead who you don’t see eye-to-eye with. Do you seem to be having the same tired old conversation again and again? Do you think that if you could just somehow make your point in a way that’s more appealing, then surely this person will see your point of view?

That’s not how it works.

In fact, I’d bet that each time you repeat this conversation, each of you gets more entrenched in your original position. It’s like being stuck in the mud— trying harder to release yourself from the muck only sinks you in deeper. It’s human nature. We hold on to our convictions—long past the time they are reasonable and even when factual information bears out our misguided thinking.

You can’t wear somebody down with the same argument that they’ve been consistently resisting over time. You need to try a different conversational approach.

When you find yourself mired in the same conversational pattern, try these questions to help get the conversation unstuck:

1. What has to happen in order for you to feel comfortable considering what I’m asking for?
2. What is it about my suggestion that seems unreasonable to you? How can we modify it to make it more palatable to you?
3. In what areas of this discussion do we agree?
4. What is your main concern about [topic being discussed]? If we could successfully address that concern, how likely would you be to move forward with this?
5. Here is where I see our commonalities [list them]. Here is where I see our differences on this topic [list them]. What can we do to bridge these differences?
6. Let’s list the pros and cons of our respective viewpoints and see if we can draw out the commonalities.
7. I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Would you please say that in a different way?

You’ll notice that all of these phrases are very open-ended. They invite conversation. Keep in mind that the goal of asking these questions is to understand the other person’s viewpoint, not to “sell” them on your viewpoint. If you return to persuading, then you’ve tossed yourself right back in the mud.

Getting a follower on board with your idea (or company policy, department paperwork, etc.) can be a lengthy process. Any response on your part that smacks of “because I said so” will only set you further back on the path. The next time you find yourself in a conversation that sounds oh-so-familiar, break out of the pattern and try a different conversational approach. You may just find yourself unstuck in no time.

Discussion question: what are some of your favorite phrases for getting people conversationally “unstuck”?

 photo credit: istockphoto.com © Daniel Kurz

There’s a new game making the rounds these days called Phone Stack. Have you played it? The basic gist is this—when you dine out with friends, everyone puts their phones in the middle of the table and then embarks on a huge game of chicken— who  can resist the siren call of their phone for the longest time? The stakes are fairly high: the first person to take a call agrees to pick up the tab for the whole group.

Reporting on this game, the blog GetKempt says, “It’s a buzzing, flashing reminder of every phone-etiquette rule the world seems to have forgotten.”

I like it. A lot. In fact, I think we should kick it up a notch and play Phone Stack at our next company meeting. It’ll be like an intervention to see who’s the most addicted to their mobile device.

If I were to suggest this process (we’re in business, we don’t do “games”, right?) at a meeting, the outcry would be fierce:

“I’m expecting an important call.”

“I just need to sign off on this P.O. Accounting is emailing it to me any minute now.”

“My customers expect me to be available”.

“Who do you think you are?!”

There is truly very little that can’t wait. Most of the “emergencies” in our business lives are urgent because we allow them to be. When people are constantly checking their phones, it feeds the urgency, creating a vicious cycle. Every time a phone buzzes or someone glances down at their lap (do you think we can’t see that?!) it disrupts the flow of the meeting. It sends the message “What’s happening outside this meeting is more important than the topic of the meeting I’m in.”

“But wait!” you say, “What’s going on outside this meeting room IS more important.”

Well, you’re not alone in that opinion. According an infographic published by SocialCast, 71% of employees in the U.S. feel that most meetings are a waste of time.

Feeling vindicated? Hold on a minute. . .

Consider this: When you attend a meeting and fake your attention, you’re contributing to that statistic. Your attendance at a meeting doesn’t mean you’ve met the mark. It’s your participation that counts.

As I see it, if you think that meeting will be a huge waste of time, you have two choices:

A)    Put on your Big Kid Pants and accept that you need to be at this meeting, and you will give your 100% full attention.

B)    Prior to the meeting, find a way to speak up and suggest to the meeting planner in a professional manner that perhaps there’s a better way than conducting a face-to-face meeting.

Anything less is just contributing to the problem.

Now, if only I could figure out a way to have the offender “pick up the tab” at the meeting, we’d be all set . . .

 Photo credit: istockphoto.com © sndr

Today is the American holiday of Thanksgiving. I love a holiday that celebrates gratitude.

Novelist Gladys Bronwyn Stern once said, “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone”.

I agree with Gladys. Don’t be silent. Let someone know how much they mean to you. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Just a small “hey, I appreciate all that you do for me” will suffice.

And by the way, thanks for taking time to read this blog post. I really DO appreciate all of the people who stop by The People Equation and read what I have to say.

Blessings to you this day, and every day.

photo credit: istockphoto.com

I recently attended a local art competition called ArtPrize.  The free event is billed as “radically open”, meaning any artist, venue and citizen can participate. The openness creates a pretty random experience: grab a map, walk around downtown and check out the art. One of my favorite venues featured 25 artists in the Women’s City Club. Why was it my favorite? It wasn’t that I loved all the artwork. I’m still scratching my head over the artist who covered different types of phones with crocheted needlework.

The positive vibe was due to something else.  The art was arranged cohesively, with artist’s statements that provided context. There was a flow that allowed me to consider each piece of art separately, yet also as a whole exhibit. As I left the venue, I noticed a sign saying that the exhibit was curated by faculty member at the Kendall College of Art and Design. That’s it! A curator pulled it all together.

My experience with this art venue had me wondering: does curation have a role in the workplace?

Normally, we don’t think of the word “curator” and “workplace” in the same sentence. A “curator” is traditionally a person in charge of taking care of an organization’s, art, history or collectible items.

The word curator is derived from the Latin word cura meaning “care”.  So in essence a curator is a caretaker. Think about it— in your job, you are most likely a “caretaker” of sorts. If you work in human resources for example, you are a caretaker of employee concerns. If you work in facilities management, you are a caretaker of your organization’s physical space.  

Now, you may be wondering, “Isn’t curating just a fancy term for filtering information?” 

Not exactly. As I see it, when it comes to workplace communication, there are actually three levels to the way information is transferred:

Sharing. This is the simple act of forwarding information, with no attention paid to the receiver’s level of interest or knowledge. For example: I’m sure we all have friends who forward humorous emails to their entire email contact list, whether those friends are interested or not.

Filtering is a higher level of information transfer, where the person doing the filtering sorts the content a bit, paying attention to what parts should be left out. An example of this might be a colleague who writes up a quick synopsis of a phone conference he attended and shares it at a department meeting.

Curating. This is the highest level of information movement, where the person transferring the information takes care in what information makes the most sense for the recipient to have.  Ever been to a really great company presentation? (Yeah, I know, they’re rare.) If you have, then you’ve witnessed an example of effective workplace curation—the content was relevant, interesting and motivational.

Thinking you might want to add “curator” to your skill set? Here are five tips to help you become an effective workplace curator:

Decide who needs to hear your message. Is it absolutely necessary to copy everyone on this email? Keep in mind that people are flooded with data.

Determine the best way to communicate. Is it a highly volatile situation? Email won’t cut it.

Get clear about outcomes. Ask yourself, “What do I want people to do after reading/hearing this information?” That will help you know the types of information to include.

Look for possible areas for misunderstanding. Enlist a proofreader; ask him or her which areas might cause confusion.

Think about your timing. Even the best message can be messed up if the timing is off. When at all possible, consider time zones, workloads and the recipients’ general state of mind.

In the digital age, we all struggle with the torrential flood of the data stream. Professionals who learn to effectively curate their content will be a valuable asset—both for their teams and for their personal credibility.

Peer-to-Peer Recognition Spreads Responsibility across the Organization

This is the final installment in a three-part series on employee recognition. I want to thank guest columnist Cori Curtis of Baudville for sharing great these insights with the readers of The People Equation.

Guest Post by Cori Curtis, Certified Recognition Professional

One of the most common protests against employee recognition programs is managers’ already busy schedules. Managers might claim that they’re too busy with more important matters, and try to dissuade the organization from putting any additional responsibilities on their already full plates. However, any smart organization understands that employee recognition has a measurable impact on the bottom line (read my explanation on this here) and that it’s crucial to have management and leader participation (read more about that here).

Thankfully for managers, organizations have embraced a new trend in employee recognition: peer-to-peer recognition programs. Peer-to-peer recognition is the genuine expression of appreciation exchanged between co-workers. Most likely, some form of peer-to-peer recognition is already happening in your organization. An email to a co-worker thanking him for his help on a project, a verbal thank you after sharing a great idea, or even a small gift to let a peer know you appreciate her extra efforts.

Peer-to-peer recognition can have a powerful effect on organizations. Because the program is open and available to everyone in the organization, a greater number of employees feel the impact of recognition on both the giving and receiving end. The positive communication between employees can improve trust and relationships in the workplace, leading to a more positive culture, higher job satisfaction, and improved camaraderie.

However, to truly harness the power of peer-to-peer recognition you need to have a formal program in place. In our employee recognition case study, we implemented a peer-to-peer recognition program with one of our customers who struggled with a toxic work environment. The employees were working against each other and the concept of teamwork was nonexistent. Once the employees were given an avenue for recognition and began giving and receiving praise from their peers, things turned around significantly.

Within two months, teamwork and trust increased among team members and many employees were pitching in when needed. In addition to the improvements in teamwork, employee confidence in leadership experienced a 66% lift, and 64% of staff believed that their work culture had improved since the start of the program.

The regular positive communication passed between teammates in a peer-to-peer recognition program will improve trust and relationships, leading to higher productivity, engagement and camaraderie. But because managers aren’t the only ones responsible for the recognition program doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be actively involved. In fact, managers play an important role in program celebration. Managers should reinforce the program by reading notes aloud in team meetings or arranging a team reward after achieving 100% program participation. Don’t forget that even recognition programs deserve a little recognition!

Cori Curtis is a Certified Recognition Professional (CRP) and Marketing Communications Specialist at Baudville. She speaks at industry events about the strategy and benefits of employee recognition and blogs regularly on the topic on the Baudville Blog. Baudville, the place for daily recognition, is a leading provider of employee gifts and employee awards and has a robust Recognition Resource Center with articles, ideas, and resources on employee recognition.

When we were kids, all it took was donning a beach towel cape and running through the neighborhood to make us feel strong and competent. A simple garment addition and voila! We were superheroes. 

Then, we grew up and went to work.

At your place of employment, you might be less inclined to feel the superhero and more likely to think, “We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” *

Sound familiar?

While there aren’t any simple solutions to feeling overworked and underappreciated, there are ways to cope with competing demands, office politics and snarky co-workers. One area in which you can up your “workplace powers” is that of setting boundaries. When you are clear with your colleagues about your line in the sand, you communicate that you do hold a certain type of power—that of self-respect. By communicating what you will (and won’t) tolerate in the way of interpersonal interactions, you are demonstrating your belief in your personal worth. Doing this telegraphs to co-workers that you value your time—and they should too. Here are 5 ways to help you from being bulldozed into oblivion.

Ask for clarification. Oftentimes, you just need to paraphrase the request in order for the requester to realize how ridiculous their request is. “Jim, I’m wondering—did you realize that it’s a 2 ½ hour drive to Detroit? By the time we drive there, and have the customer meeting, there’s no way to physically be back to our office at 11:00 AM, unless we have a 15 minute customer meeting. Maybe a phone conference would be better.”

Negotiate. If a colleague asks you to turn around a project in an unreasonable amount of time, it’s ok to negotiate the deadline. Say, “I know you want this today, but with my other projects, I can’t get to it until tomorrow morning. I’m sure you want ________ [whatever the task/project is] done right, so I’ll put my full focus on it tomorrow.”

Ask for help in prioritizing. “You said X and now you’re requesting Y. Which do you want me to focus on first?”

Review prior agreements. Sometimes, it helps to tactfully remind people what your previous commitments have been. “Stacy, when we met two weeks ago, you felt comfortable about getting this report to us by tomorrow. Is that still the case?”

Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker resorts to snide comments, take a deep breath, keep your tone neutral and say, “Cory, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t use the phrase “_____”.

The key to all of these suggestions is remembering that it’s perfectly reasonable for you to expect respect in the workplace. (Assuming, of course, you act respectfully towards others. But that’s another blog post.) As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Forget waiting for your manager to “empower” you. Do it yourself. Wrap yourself in a cape of boundary-setting and see where it leads you.

*This quote is sometimes falsely attributed to Mother Theresa. No matter the source, you undoubtedly have heard some variation of this quote at some point in your career.

As a workplace professional, you know that making excuses doesn’t cut it, so you strive to avoid acting the victim if your work actions don’t make the grade. But is there ever a time when an explanation is warranted to help clarify your actions? After all, because you’re a professional and you always aim to do your best, there’s a perfectly good reason why you didn’t make that deadline, right? (Or, call back the customer, or whatever.) And you would really appreciate it if the listener would just hear you out for a moment.

Maybe an explanation is needed, but more often than not  I find that one’s need to explain their actions borders on excuse-making. Sometimes, no matter our best intentions, we mess up. And I’ll let you in on a little secret—nobody really cares why you messed up. The mistake has been made and no amount of “explaining” it will negate that fact. They only care about how the mistake is going to be fixed.  A consummate professional understands that this is not the time to problem-solve the reasons for the mistake. That comes later. Instead, he or she owns up and says  “Yes, I did this. I own this mistake. I apologize, and here’s how I’m going to fix it.”All that explanations do is waste time that could be spent rectifying the problem. So the next time you find yourself on the verge of explaining your actions, ask yourself:

Am I being asked to describe the reason behind my actions?

If so, feel free to offer a brief rationale as to your actions.

However, if you are being asked whether or not you achieved the task/project/goal, no matter what the reason, look the inquirer in the eye and give them a straight yes or no answer. They may not be happy with your answer, but they’ll appreciate your No Excuses approach.