Sometimes a tweet just sums it up perfectly.  Ben Eubanks tweeted:

“Verbal Spam”.  Creates quite the mental picture, doesn’t it?

How often are you subjected to verbal “spam” in the workplace?  Probably more often than you’d like.  My first reaction to Ben’s tweet was to imagine people who blather on, saying nothing of value.  But then, I had a thought of how maybe there is some measure of value to some people’s “spam”.  Ever heard the saying “one person’s trash is another person’s treasure?”  I think this saying could apply to the communication process as well. Maybe some people are just droning on and on, but what if they are simply at cross-purposes with their listener? What equates to trashy spam for you as the listener may indeed be another person’s golden treasure.

Here’s an example.  When I conduct my Listening Skills for Leaders webinar, we discuss the following graphic:

Let’s say the woman on the left is a supervisor who is explaining a new company policy to the person on the right who is an employee.  The supervisor is very carefully explaining the details of the new policy—when the change will go into effect, the specifics of the change and what the employee needs to do to adhere to the policy.  It’s her job as a supervisor to communicate these details; therefore she believes she’s delivering a treasure-trove of information.

Now let’s look at it from the employee’s viewpoint. Perhaps this policy change will require some type of change in the way the employee handles his day-to-day work.  Maybe the change is extensive enough that he may have to learn something new, or re-think how he handles other related company policies. Maybe those changes are daunting in some way.  In the graphic above, the employee is listening for the emotional content of the supervisor’s message—and isn’t hearing it.  He’s only hearing the logistical details, which he may translate as “unhelpful” or even “spam”.

So, what’s a supervisor to do?  Supervisors are constantly communicating—everything from the  mundane (“cookies in the break room, eat up!”) to the life-changing (“We are going to have do lay-offs for fourth quarter”). The key is to think about the expectations of the listeners.  Supervisors skilled in verbal communication will think about the following before they communicate their message:

1. What’s my intent in sending this message?
2. What does my listener expect from this communication?
3. How will I check for understanding?

Answering these three simple questions will help supervisors stay focused in their communication, thereby reducing the chance that their employees will run their communications through the mental spam filter.

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I was out early this morning snapping up some bargains at one of my favorite mass-merchandise retailers. In what appears to be a developing theme with me, I overheard another conversation with Human Resources implications. (See my other HR eavesdropping observation here.)

 Overheard:

 Employee: “Do I really need to take two breaks and a lunch today?  My shift is only seven hours.”

 Floor Manager: “Yes.”

 Employee: “Really?  I don’t need all that time.  How about just the two breaks instead?”

 Floor Manager: “Yes, really.  I need you to take both breaks and the lunch. . .” He then went on to briefly explain his reasoning for scheduling her in this way.

 At this point, I started to move away from the conversation, fearing the store’s security crew was probably looking askance at my lingering in the Misses separates section.

 For just a moment, let’s imagine I was the Human Resources Manager for this store and wanted to use this situation for a coaching opportunity. (As a former Human Resources Generalist for a department store retailer, that’s not too much of a stretch.) Here’s what I would say to the players involved in this conversation. In writing, it’s kind of in stilted Corporate-Speak; in real life, it’d be more conversational

 To the Floor Manager: You are to be commended. Thank you for upholding your company’s staffing and HR policies.  From what I could hear, you did so with subtle authority and an appropriate amount of explanation….neither heavy-handing it or over-explaining.

 To the Employee: I admire your work ethic. Please know that there are reasons for the company’s retail floor scheduling. Sometimes these rules are based on labor laws, sometimes they’re based on company policy.  To be consistent, even if you don’t personally need that much time off the floor, we need you to take the breaks.

How would they receive this coaching?  When I had chats like this with Department Managers they were receptive, even if the feedback wasn’t as positive as the exchange shown above.  When working with employees, it depended on the maturity level of the employee— the more mature the employee, the less likely to get the dreaded eye-roll.

So, to my Human Resources readers. . . how do you discuss these types of issues with your company’s employees?  How do you convince them to follow a company policy even if they don’t agree with it?

When was the last time you heard an employee say “Wow, the implementation of that new program (system/process/idea) was smooth!” My guess is you’ve rarely (perhaps never?) heard that.  There are oodles of reasons why the launch of a new system goes awry— competing values, unclear objectives, unrealistic deadlines, budget constraints and so on. 

Here’s another reason that gets buried underneath the more observable causes:  human beings’ reaction to change.  Many people trot out the old saw “people fear change”, yet so few rarely factor that aspect into their plans for introducing something new.

For example, let’s say that you’re a Vice President that has 250 people in your division and you need to announce a large system implementation.  First up: the project plan.  You identify key players and ensure that plan is created, with deadlines and accountabilities.  Then, you create  a communication plan.  Maybe you’ll hold kick-off meetings, or you’ll do a video download via YouTube or an internal video newsletter, or you’ll send an email outlining the plan.  If you have a really strong employee communication plan, you’ll probably also hold some sort of feedback session to gather input from employees.  To follow it up, you’ll enlist the support of your management team to reinforce the message via departmental meetings.

Whew!  The Plan is rolled out and employees are on board. Right? Wrong.

Here’s the deal: just because you said it, doesn’t mean they get it.  “But I communicated it several times and in several ways!” you’ll protest. Yep, you did.  But it takes awhile for these things to sink in.  So here’s what really happened:

The rumor mill kicks into action. In hallway conversations and via snippets of emails, texting and (gasp!) Twitter or Facebook, people talk. With each iteration of a person’s reaction to The Plan, information gets twisted and reshaped, sometimes into an unrecognizable form of the original Plan.  One of my favorite sayings is “In the absence of information, people make it up—and boy, are they creative.”   Whenever there’s a perceived information vacuum, people do indeed get creative—and, I’ve noticed—they tend to go to the extreme.  So if, for example, a change is announced in which there will be “some” new job responsibilities for X job title, it gets re-crafted into “my entire job is going to change!”

Notice that I said perceived information void.  It’s not that leaders fail to communicate, it’s that they underestimate the number of times they need to do so.  Call it the Ambiguity Factor— for each organizational layer an employee is removed from the decision-making, the level of ambiguity increases.  Leaders who are at the epicenter of the decision-making are much more comfortable with The Plan because they helped shape it. As leaders communicate the plan, they need to listen for resistance and lack of clarity.  Then, they need to act quickly to clarify misperceptions and offer reassurance when necessary.  Because if they don’t, the Ambiguity Factor kicks into overdrive and employees will don their creative thinking caps and create their own perception of reality.

I recently gave a presentation on Networking Styles to members of the GRAPE organization (Grand Rapids Area Professionals for Excellence.)  Several of my colleagues indicated interest in attending, but could not, so here’s a summary, divided into three parts. Part I, “What Savvy Networkers Know”  outlines my “nuggets” gleaned from years of building a strong business network. This blog post is Part II, “What’s Your Networking Style?”.  It’s about how people’s networking “styles” vary and how to look for the clues to help you build rapport. Part III is a list of additional networking resources.

The title of this blog refers to what I call the “secret sauce” of networking— that little extra “something ” that separates the casual networker from the networking pro.  Many people are familiar with the DiSC® behavioral model. (If you’re not, click here for a PDF download. Check out p. 2 of the sample report for an overview) During the “What’s Your Networking Style?” presentation, we explored four networking “styles” based on Inscape Publishing’s DiSC model: Direct, Expressive, Supportive and Analytical.  Being able to identify one’s preferred approach to the networking process enables a business person to identify where he naturally gravitates and where there might be potential relationship tension.

[Disclosure: SkillSource (the consultancy owned by me) is an authorized independent distributor for Inscape Publishing, Inc. DiSC® is a registered trademark of Inscape Publishing and is used with permission.]

The Direct networking style values results, speaks, thinks and acts quickly. A person with a strong Direct style may seem impatient or “pushy”.

The Expressive networking style values making connections; this person is lively and outgoing. To others, however, this style may seem scattered.

The Supportive networking style values sincerity and steadiness. Supportive networkers are steadfast in their approach. The Supportive style may seem slow to accept others who move more quickly.

The Analytical networking style values accuracy and details. When networking this person is methodical in speech patterns and decision-making. Precision is important to this style, so the Analytical networker may seem nitpicky or critical if something is too “off the cuff”.

When interacting with people try to “read” some of clues to their interpersonal style: do they speak quickly or more moderately? Do they seem lively or more reserved?  This will give you clues for how to interact.  If you sense that your styles are “opposite” don’t try to win them over by applying more emphasis on your style.  This only serves to “repel” the person, not draw him/her to you. Instead, think of modifying your approach a bit— as if you were moving yourself (communication-wise) more “towards” their style.

No doubt, you’ve seen these familiar behaviors play out, both in networking situations and in other person-to-person interactions.  The key is to recognize your preferences and to know that others may approach networking differently.  It’s not bad, just different. By  maintaining this mindset, you’ll be able to network with all styles of people to build the rapport necessary for a vibrant professional network.

I recently gave a presentation on networking to members of the GRAPE organization (Grand Rapids Area Professionals for Excellence.)  Several of my colleagues indicated interest in attending, but could not, so here’s a summary, divided into three parts. This post is Part I, “What Savvy Networkers Know”. It  outlines my “nuggets” gleaned from years of building a strong business network. Part II, “What’s Your Networking Style?” is about how people’s networking “styles” vary and how to look for the clues to help you build rapport. Part III is a list of additional networking resources.

My definition of networking is: “the purpose of networking is to connect people who have a mutual interest in developing a business relationship or assisting one another”. So with that framework in mind, I invite you to consider the following ideas, which I’ve playfully named “Miller’s Maxims”.

Maxim #1
When it comes to networking, people are the common denominator. 
The speed and ease with which people can create connections has expanded exponentially.  The speed and ease with which human beings accept one another has not kept pace.  Just because technology allows you to  snatch 30 business cards from the networking table at a Chamber event, go back to the office and issue 30 Linked In invitations within 20 minutes doesn’t mean that you should do it. Doing this cuts the “people” element right out of the equation. Human beings need time to build rapport and trust with one another. Which leads me to my second maxim. . .

Maxim #2
The surest way to short-circuit your networking success is to take short cuts in the people process.
Savvy networkers know that creating lasting, meaningful business relationships takes time.  Networking is not a get-rich quick scheme.  Similarly, smart networkers don’t confuse networking with prospecting for new customers.  Networking can be a means to gaining access to new customers, but it is not the sole purpose. I find that sales professionals get discouraged with networking events because “I didn’t get a single sales lead”.  Nope, you didn’t, because that’s not what networking’s about. Networking is about finding business contacts who have a mutual interest in helping one another. That narrows the field significantly, doesn’t it?  Speaking of narrowing the field. . .

Maxim #3
Make sure your network is a lake, not a river: vast and deep, not wide and shallow.
Creating a healthy, productive network takes time and energy.  It’s one thing to have 500 connections in your Outlook Contacts list, but how many of those people would return your phone call. . . or more importantly, could be a positive advocate for your business or your skills?  It’s not always about numbers.  Yes, lots of contacts give you potential access to lots of people—but will they be interested in helping you? And equally important, are these people you have an interest in helping in some way?  The best networkers I know are genuine in their attempts to help people. They work to connect their contacts to others, and they offer assistance with no expectation of anything in return.  Technology makes is super-simple to stockpile “connections”, but be honest with yourself—is this a fun numbers game, or does your network provide true value, both to yourself and to others.

Sometimes, in the push to get things done, or drive more sales, it’s easy to lose sight of networking’s purpose. So when attending networking events or working to build my contact list, I revisit these nuggets each and every time.

What are your networking nuggets?

During a recent presentation to the GRAPE organization, I outlined several networking strategies to increase the “health” of your personal network. (See summaries, Part I and Part II.) During the research for the presentation, I realized that there was way more content than the one hour could contain. So, here are additional resources, organized by different types of networking categories.

For Job-Seekers

Absolutely Abby Career Website : Advice organized by a daily theme. Example: Thursdays is “Ingenious Interview” tips.

JobAngels : A volunteer organization whose mission is to help bring people together in a community setting where each person commits to a single goal: to help just one person find gainful employment.

Jobhunt.org : Owner Susan P. Joyce manages an award-winning employment portal w/over 8,000 links to employer recruiting pages by state, plus 5,000 more links to career and job search resources.

Jessica Miller-Merrell, SPHR. Human Resources consultant and HR blogger and host of a job-seekers WebTV show on Sunday nights.

Career coaching by Ken Soper  

Networking tips and hints

Business Card Etiquette 

How Healthy is Your Network?
  

Networking for the Sales Professional

Networking Questionnaire by Harvard Business Publishing

Great networkers
These are people in my personal network that will take the time to get to know you. They are skilled networkers and consummate professionals in their respective areas of expertise. All are on LinkedIn if you search their names.  I’ve included their twitter handles below.

Dave Carhart (@davecarhart): Talent Management professional; open to networking via social media

Ken Trupke (@KenTrupke): business executive; exemplary networker

Kristina Evey (@KristinaEvey): customer service consultant; out-of-the-box thinker

Mike Henry (@MikeHenrySr): open networker, leadership expert (he walks his talk!)

Deidre Honner (@thehrmaven): HR professional, one of the founders of JobAngels, very go-give person

Yesterday I posted my reaction to the various “comments” that a local art competition is receiving in our community.  These comments are appearing in several places: the art competition’s website, the online version of the local newspaper and various other local blogs. Reading these comments caused me to reflect on the nature of discourse on blogs. The people commenting seem to fall into one of three categories:

Cheerleader: This is the all-out supporter of the crowd, providing enthusiastic support.  “This needed to be said; well done!” or “This is great! Thanks for your hard work.”  A cheerleader is one who guides and inspires others.

Editor: This commenter is the one who corrects, revises, adapts. This person genuinely wants to make it better and therefore provides an alternate point of view or additional information: “I see your point.  Wondering if you’ve considered it from a different angle….” or “Sam Jones offers a counterpoint to your position on his blog at www.xyzblog.com.”  A true editor isn’t pushing his/her agenda, hidden as a “helpful” comment: “We’ve tried that before and found that the best solution is the ABC product, which you can see on our site at www.ABCproduct.com”.

Critic: A commenter of this type is someone who frequently finds fault with and makes harsh or unfair judgments. They typically do so in a way that is disagreeable and in some cases downright nasty. Terse comments like “Total waste of time” and “Don’t bother” fall into this category.  There is absolutely nothing useful about their comment in that it provides no specific or helpful information on how to fix or improve the situation.

It occurs to me that the “comment” feature on blogs can be instructive outside the blogsphere too.  Ask yourself— when providing feedback to someone, which type of commenter are you: a Cheerleader, Editor or Critic?  There’s a time and a place for both cheering and editing, but I see no value in being a critic. (At least “critic” as I’ve defined it.)

If a colleague seeks your feedback, before replying ask yourself, “what does this person need right now?”  Does she need support to keep going, or just to vent and be “heard”? Then being a cheerleader is what’s advised. If she’s truly seeking to improve herself, a bit of tactful “editing” might do the trick.

If you’re a leader, ask yourself, “Do my followers see me as Cheerleader, Editor, or Critic?”  Consider what type of situations and follower behaviors tend to bring out the Critic in you.  Work to adjust your tone of voice and word choice to reflect a more “editorial” intention.

Above all, remember that even your most well-meaning commentary will sometimes fall short.  When you sense that’s happened, don’t hesitate to check in with your listener and adjust your message if necessary.  That’s how you keep the dialog going and the relationship intact.

For my consistent readers, you know that this blog focuses primarily on work-related topics—leadership, communication, team effectiveness, social media and its impact on the “people equation.” Today’s blog post is more personal in nature and represents a request I’m making on behalf of a nascent foundation.  If that’s not your thing, then now’s the time to bail out!

I first met my good friend Lara over a decade ago when she was a staff member with the Junior Achievement organization and I was on the JA board of directors.  Lara is an incredibly vibrant and organized woman who gets things done.  Our eldest children are nearly the same age; my son Jack just turned nine and her daughter Taylor will be nine next spring. But even though we live in the same city and our families have many things in common, Jack and Taylor live very different lives.

Taylor has ataxic cerebral palsy and autism.  It’s an extremely cruel combination of conditions that affects every single aspect of how Taylor interacts emotionally, physically, and cognitively with her world.  Lara wants for Taylor what all mothers do—the chance to be her absolute best self, in whatever form “best” happens to be.  That means providing extensive therapies that are time-consuming.  But it’s paying off— after connecting last year with a fantastic occupational therapist, Taylor has blossomed. Of course, this comes at a cost and Lara’s family has had to pay for the therapies out of pocket, because they’re not covered by insurance.

So being the action-oriented woman that she is, Lara has helped to organize a foundation called the Family Hope Foundation.  Its mission is to help families become aware of and secure therapy funding for children with special needs.  Here’s how Lara describes the vision for the Family Hope Foundation:

Our primary focus for the short term is to build a grant program.  The grants will be specifically for therapies not covered by insurance…there are so many valuable therapies that can change the lives of these kids, yet PT, OT & speech (if you’re lucky) are the only ones covered by insurance – but not if you have autism, then you get no coverage!!  Look at how Molly [occupational therapist] has changed Taylor’s life – she is a completely different kid than she was 2 years ago. . .

Once the Foundation gets established, we will then be an information and referral resource. As a parent, it is SO overwhelming to identify all the different types of therapy available and which ones are legitimate, useful, etc.  Future programs will include a support system for families, offering things like attending IEP school meetings to help families advocate for their child’s needs.  We will also offer workshops/seminars by experts in the field to help educate parents.

The Foundation is in its creation stage, defining its mission and securing board members.  Which brings me to the point of this blog—Lara is seeking board members.  She’s looking for people who are passionate about helping kids with special needs.  You don’t need to be a parent of a special-needs child but you do need to be willing to attend a monthly board meeting and work on a sub-committee.  At this point, Lara is recruiting board members from the West Michigan area, but I’m encouraging her to think more broadly—with email and Skype—a board member could truly reside anywhere and still contribute.

If you’d like to know more, please contact Lara at lara.kitts@comcast.net.

One of the fantastic things about social media is its ability to quickly connect people who have a common interest.  If this opportunity isn’t for you, but you know someone for whom it might be, please pass this information along.

Thanks for reading and for helping out.

Do you have a friend who’s an excellent party-giver?  What is it about him or her that makes it so?  Is it the fantastic food? The diverse guest list? An excellent home that provides the perfect backdrop for gatherings?  It could be any of these things, but I’d bet the one thing that’s for sure is your friend is an excellent host. She ensures that all of her guests feel welcome and that they are comfortable in their surroundings.  She’s in tune for who’s feeling a bit out of place, or who needs a nudge to get the conversation started.

Good hosts are natural “connectors”—“Bill, have you met Jane?  Jane works with me on the Finance Committee for Junior Achievement.  Jane, Bill was telling me about a great financial software package we might want to consider installing. . .” Good hosts are adept at seeing how people may have similar interests; they’re comfortable taking action to draw these people together. It’s sort of like working a jigsaw puzzle: which pieces naturally fit together?

I find that adopting a “host” mindset is especially helpful when networking.  Let’s look at a few examples:

1.  When attending a face-to-face networking event, imagine that the event planners have asked you to “work the room” as an ad-hoc host.  Scan the room for people who seem to be looking for someone to talk with.  Introduce yourself.  Talk with that person for a few minutes, then see if the two of you can find yet another person to connect with.  All the while, be looking for a point of commonality between the people you’re meeting.  Mention those points of connection, “Steve, Pete was telling me that he’s also interested in learning more about Linked In….”
2. Are you using a social media platform?  These platforms make it easy to connect people of common interests.  I’m always on the lookout for people whom I think would have an interest in meeting.  On Twitter, for example, I’ll send a public tweet such as “@JaneSmith have you met @SallyReynolds? You’re both in HR/ Atlanta area.”
3. Is there a way for you to help others find mentors?  Chances are, you know both a wise person with great advice to give and a person who could use that developmental opportunity. Check in with both parties and if they’re interested, broker a meeting.  Attend the meeting, acting as the host to get the ball rolling.

The great thing about cultivating this host attitude is that it pays both immediate and long-term dividends. Sure, it feels great to help out a lonely-looking person at the beverage table. But even more importantly, you are building a reputation of being a person who thinks beyond him- or herself; one who sees connections and capitalizes on them to the benefit of all involved.