The other day I attended a webinar led by Al Switzler, co-author of the books Crucial Conversations and Influencer. During the webinar Al made this point about interacting with colleagues:

If your response to frustrating conversations is to increase the frequency of your key point or the volume of your delivery, but you don’t change the content of your message, then you will remain stuck in your current situation. 

This is especially true in a leader-follower dynamic. Think about someone you lead who you don’t see eye-to-eye with. Do you seem to be having the same tired old conversation again and again? Do you think that if you could just somehow make your point in a way that’s more appealing, then surely this person will see your point of view?

That’s not how it works.

In fact, I’d bet that each time you repeat this conversation, each of you gets more entrenched in your original position. It’s like being stuck in the mud— trying harder to release yourself from the muck only sinks you in deeper. It’s human nature. We hold on to our convictions—long past the time they are reasonable and even when factual information bears out our misguided thinking.

You can’t wear somebody down with the same argument that they’ve been consistently resisting over time. You need to try a different conversational approach.

When you find yourself mired in the same conversational pattern, try these questions to help get the conversation unstuck:

1. What has to happen in order for you to feel comfortable considering what I’m asking for?
2. What is it about my suggestion that seems unreasonable to you? How can we modify it to make it more palatable to you?
3. In what areas of this discussion do we agree?
4. What is your main concern about [topic being discussed]? If we could successfully address that concern, how likely would you be to move forward with this?
5. Here is where I see our commonalities [list them]. Here is where I see our differences on this topic [list them]. What can we do to bridge these differences?
6. Let’s list the pros and cons of our respective viewpoints and see if we can draw out the commonalities.
7. I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Would you please say that in a different way?

You’ll notice that all of these phrases are very open-ended. They invite conversation. Keep in mind that the goal of asking these questions is to understand the other person’s viewpoint, not to “sell” them on your viewpoint. If you return to persuading, then you’ve tossed yourself right back in the mud.

Getting a follower on board with your idea (or company policy, department paperwork, etc.) can be a lengthy process. Any response on your part that smacks of “because I said so” will only set you further back on the path. The next time you find yourself in a conversation that sounds oh-so-familiar, break out of the pattern and try a different conversational approach. You may just find yourself unstuck in no time.

Discussion question: what are some of your favorite phrases for getting people conversationally “unstuck”?

 photo credit: istockphoto.com © Daniel Kurz

There’s a new game making the rounds these days called Phone Stack. Have you played it? The basic gist is this—when you dine out with friends, everyone puts their phones in the middle of the table and then embarks on a huge game of chicken— who  can resist the siren call of their phone for the longest time? The stakes are fairly high: the first person to take a call agrees to pick up the tab for the whole group.

Reporting on this game, the blog GetKempt says, “It’s a buzzing, flashing reminder of every phone-etiquette rule the world seems to have forgotten.”

I like it. A lot. In fact, I think we should kick it up a notch and play Phone Stack at our next company meeting. It’ll be like an intervention to see who’s the most addicted to their mobile device.

If I were to suggest this process (we’re in business, we don’t do “games”, right?) at a meeting, the outcry would be fierce:

“I’m expecting an important call.”

“I just need to sign off on this P.O. Accounting is emailing it to me any minute now.”

“My customers expect me to be available”.

“Who do you think you are?!”

There is truly very little that can’t wait. Most of the “emergencies” in our business lives are urgent because we allow them to be. When people are constantly checking their phones, it feeds the urgency, creating a vicious cycle. Every time a phone buzzes or someone glances down at their lap (do you think we can’t see that?!) it disrupts the flow of the meeting. It sends the message “What’s happening outside this meeting is more important than the topic of the meeting I’m in.”

“But wait!” you say, “What’s going on outside this meeting room IS more important.”

Well, you’re not alone in that opinion. According an infographic published by SocialCast, 71% of employees in the U.S. feel that most meetings are a waste of time.

Feeling vindicated? Hold on a minute. . .

Consider this: When you attend a meeting and fake your attention, you’re contributing to that statistic. Your attendance at a meeting doesn’t mean you’ve met the mark. It’s your participation that counts.

As I see it, if you think that meeting will be a huge waste of time, you have two choices:

A)    Put on your Big Kid Pants and accept that you need to be at this meeting, and you will give your 100% full attention.

B)    Prior to the meeting, find a way to speak up and suggest to the meeting planner in a professional manner that perhaps there’s a better way than conducting a face-to-face meeting.

Anything less is just contributing to the problem.

Now, if only I could figure out a way to have the offender “pick up the tab” at the meeting, we’d be all set . . .

 Photo credit: istockphoto.com © sndr

Today is the American holiday of Thanksgiving. I love a holiday that celebrates gratitude.

Novelist Gladys Bronwyn Stern once said, “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone”.

I agree with Gladys. Don’t be silent. Let someone know how much they mean to you. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. Just a small “hey, I appreciate all that you do for me” will suffice.

And by the way, thanks for taking time to read this blog post. I really DO appreciate all of the people who stop by The People Equation and read what I have to say.

Blessings to you this day, and every day.

photo credit: istockphoto.com

I recently attended a local art competition called ArtPrize.  The free event is billed as “radically open”, meaning any artist, venue and citizen can participate. The openness creates a pretty random experience: grab a map, walk around downtown and check out the art. One of my favorite venues featured 25 artists in the Women’s City Club. Why was it my favorite? It wasn’t that I loved all the artwork. I’m still scratching my head over the artist who covered different types of phones with crocheted needlework.

The positive vibe was due to something else.  The art was arranged cohesively, with artist’s statements that provided context. There was a flow that allowed me to consider each piece of art separately, yet also as a whole exhibit. As I left the venue, I noticed a sign saying that the exhibit was curated by faculty member at the Kendall College of Art and Design. That’s it! A curator pulled it all together.

My experience with this art venue had me wondering: does curation have a role in the workplace?

Normally, we don’t think of the word “curator” and “workplace” in the same sentence. A “curator” is traditionally a person in charge of taking care of an organization’s, art, history or collectible items.

The word curator is derived from the Latin word cura meaning “care”.  So in essence a curator is a caretaker. Think about it— in your job, you are most likely a “caretaker” of sorts. If you work in human resources for example, you are a caretaker of employee concerns. If you work in facilities management, you are a caretaker of your organization’s physical space.  

Now, you may be wondering, “Isn’t curating just a fancy term for filtering information?” 

Not exactly. As I see it, when it comes to workplace communication, there are actually three levels to the way information is transferred:

Sharing. This is the simple act of forwarding information, with no attention paid to the receiver’s level of interest or knowledge. For example: I’m sure we all have friends who forward humorous emails to their entire email contact list, whether those friends are interested or not.

Filtering is a higher level of information transfer, where the person doing the filtering sorts the content a bit, paying attention to what parts should be left out. An example of this might be a colleague who writes up a quick synopsis of a phone conference he attended and shares it at a department meeting.

Curating. This is the highest level of information movement, where the person transferring the information takes care in what information makes the most sense for the recipient to have.  Ever been to a really great company presentation? (Yeah, I know, they’re rare.) If you have, then you’ve witnessed an example of effective workplace curation—the content was relevant, interesting and motivational.

Thinking you might want to add “curator” to your skill set? Here are five tips to help you become an effective workplace curator:

Decide who needs to hear your message. Is it absolutely necessary to copy everyone on this email? Keep in mind that people are flooded with data.

Determine the best way to communicate. Is it a highly volatile situation? Email won’t cut it.

Get clear about outcomes. Ask yourself, “What do I want people to do after reading/hearing this information?” That will help you know the types of information to include.

Look for possible areas for misunderstanding. Enlist a proofreader; ask him or her which areas might cause confusion.

Think about your timing. Even the best message can be messed up if the timing is off. When at all possible, consider time zones, workloads and the recipients’ general state of mind.

In the digital age, we all struggle with the torrential flood of the data stream. Professionals who learn to effectively curate their content will be a valuable asset—both for their teams and for their personal credibility.

Peer-to-Peer Recognition Spreads Responsibility across the Organization

This is the final installment in a three-part series on employee recognition. I want to thank guest columnist Cori Curtis of Baudville for sharing great these insights with the readers of The People Equation.

Guest Post by Cori Curtis, Certified Recognition Professional

One of the most common protests against employee recognition programs is managers’ already busy schedules. Managers might claim that they’re too busy with more important matters, and try to dissuade the organization from putting any additional responsibilities on their already full plates. However, any smart organization understands that employee recognition has a measurable impact on the bottom line (read my explanation on this here) and that it’s crucial to have management and leader participation (read more about that here).

Thankfully for managers, organizations have embraced a new trend in employee recognition: peer-to-peer recognition programs. Peer-to-peer recognition is the genuine expression of appreciation exchanged between co-workers. Most likely, some form of peer-to-peer recognition is already happening in your organization. An email to a co-worker thanking him for his help on a project, a verbal thank you after sharing a great idea, or even a small gift to let a peer know you appreciate her extra efforts.

Peer-to-peer recognition can have a powerful effect on organizations. Because the program is open and available to everyone in the organization, a greater number of employees feel the impact of recognition on both the giving and receiving end. The positive communication between employees can improve trust and relationships in the workplace, leading to a more positive culture, higher job satisfaction, and improved camaraderie.

However, to truly harness the power of peer-to-peer recognition you need to have a formal program in place. In our employee recognition case study, we implemented a peer-to-peer recognition program with one of our customers who struggled with a toxic work environment. The employees were working against each other and the concept of teamwork was nonexistent. Once the employees were given an avenue for recognition and began giving and receiving praise from their peers, things turned around significantly.

Within two months, teamwork and trust increased among team members and many employees were pitching in when needed. In addition to the improvements in teamwork, employee confidence in leadership experienced a 66% lift, and 64% of staff believed that their work culture had improved since the start of the program.

The regular positive communication passed between teammates in a peer-to-peer recognition program will improve trust and relationships, leading to higher productivity, engagement and camaraderie. But because managers aren’t the only ones responsible for the recognition program doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be actively involved. In fact, managers play an important role in program celebration. Managers should reinforce the program by reading notes aloud in team meetings or arranging a team reward after achieving 100% program participation. Don’t forget that even recognition programs deserve a little recognition!

Cori Curtis is a Certified Recognition Professional (CRP) and Marketing Communications Specialist at Baudville. She speaks at industry events about the strategy and benefits of employee recognition and blogs regularly on the topic on the Baudville Blog. Baudville, the place for daily recognition, is a leading provider of employee gifts and employee awards and has a robust Recognition Resource Center with articles, ideas, and resources on employee recognition.

When we were kids, all it took was donning a beach towel cape and running through the neighborhood to make us feel strong and competent. A simple garment addition and voila! We were superheroes. 

Then, we grew up and went to work.

At your place of employment, you might be less inclined to feel the superhero and more likely to think, “We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” *

Sound familiar?

While there aren’t any simple solutions to feeling overworked and underappreciated, there are ways to cope with competing demands, office politics and snarky co-workers. One area in which you can up your “workplace powers” is that of setting boundaries. When you are clear with your colleagues about your line in the sand, you communicate that you do hold a certain type of power—that of self-respect. By communicating what you will (and won’t) tolerate in the way of interpersonal interactions, you are demonstrating your belief in your personal worth. Doing this telegraphs to co-workers that you value your time—and they should too. Here are 5 ways to help you from being bulldozed into oblivion.

Ask for clarification. Oftentimes, you just need to paraphrase the request in order for the requester to realize how ridiculous their request is. “Jim, I’m wondering—did you realize that it’s a 2 ½ hour drive to Detroit? By the time we drive there, and have the customer meeting, there’s no way to physically be back to our office at 11:00 AM, unless we have a 15 minute customer meeting. Maybe a phone conference would be better.”

Negotiate. If a colleague asks you to turn around a project in an unreasonable amount of time, it’s ok to negotiate the deadline. Say, “I know you want this today, but with my other projects, I can’t get to it until tomorrow morning. I’m sure you want ________ [whatever the task/project is] done right, so I’ll put my full focus on it tomorrow.”

Ask for help in prioritizing. “You said X and now you’re requesting Y. Which do you want me to focus on first?”

Review prior agreements. Sometimes, it helps to tactfully remind people what your previous commitments have been. “Stacy, when we met two weeks ago, you felt comfortable about getting this report to us by tomorrow. Is that still the case?”

Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker resorts to snide comments, take a deep breath, keep your tone neutral and say, “Cory, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t use the phrase “_____”.

The key to all of these suggestions is remembering that it’s perfectly reasonable for you to expect respect in the workplace. (Assuming, of course, you act respectfully towards others. But that’s another blog post.) As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Forget waiting for your manager to “empower” you. Do it yourself. Wrap yourself in a cape of boundary-setting and see where it leads you.

*This quote is sometimes falsely attributed to Mother Theresa. No matter the source, you undoubtedly have heard some variation of this quote at some point in your career.

As a workplace professional, you know that making excuses doesn’t cut it, so you strive to avoid acting the victim if your work actions don’t make the grade. But is there ever a time when an explanation is warranted to help clarify your actions? After all, because you’re a professional and you always aim to do your best, there’s a perfectly good reason why you didn’t make that deadline, right? (Or, call back the customer, or whatever.) And you would really appreciate it if the listener would just hear you out for a moment.

Maybe an explanation is needed, but more often than not  I find that one’s need to explain their actions borders on excuse-making. Sometimes, no matter our best intentions, we mess up. And I’ll let you in on a little secret—nobody really cares why you messed up. The mistake has been made and no amount of “explaining” it will negate that fact. They only care about how the mistake is going to be fixed.  A consummate professional understands that this is not the time to problem-solve the reasons for the mistake. That comes later. Instead, he or she owns up and says  “Yes, I did this. I own this mistake. I apologize, and here’s how I’m going to fix it.”All that explanations do is waste time that could be spent rectifying the problem. So the next time you find yourself on the verge of explaining your actions, ask yourself:

Am I being asked to describe the reason behind my actions?

If so, feel free to offer a brief rationale as to your actions.

However, if you are being asked whether or not you achieved the task/project/goal, no matter what the reason, look the inquirer in the eye and give them a straight yes or no answer. They may not be happy with your answer, but they’ll appreciate your No Excuses approach.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Along with a wonderful day enjoyed with my family, I received an unforeseen bonus from an unlikely source: my son’s Little League coach. Imagine my surprise when I opened my email yesterday to find a genuine note of “thanks” from Coach Bob to all the mothers on the team.

People appreciate being thanked. This is true whether you’re a Little League mom, a government worker or employed by a large company.  The benefits of appreciation have implications for employee retention and engagement as well. According to a study conducted by Aon Hewitt, nearly half of the employees surveyed said that being appreciated at work would motivate them to stay with their organization.

That being said, not all “thank you’s” are created equal. Here’s what made Bob’s message of gratitude so powerful:

It was unexpected. Never underestimate the element of surprise. How many Little League moms do you suppose received a note of thanks from their team’s head coach yesterday? When an expression of gratitude comes from an unexpected source, it amplifies an already pleasant experience.

Sincerity. I’ve absolutely no doubt about the sincerity of Bob’s message because, already this early in the season, he’s established a rapport with his players and the team parents. He has a track record of positive comments, so I trust his motives in sending this message.

Specificity. Rather than stop with a perfunctory “thanks for all you do”, Bob cited very specific actions that he was thanking us for: washing the boys’ uniforms, helping out in the dugout and taking stats during the game.

It spoke to my heart. The message was made all the more powerful because Bob tapped into a strong maternal motivator: the desire to raise a decent human being.

Your sons have never had one moment when they are anything less than attentive, respectful, energetic, and normal.  They have won without gloating and lost without complaining. They hustle, respect their opponent, are grateful for a postgame treat. . . Any success that we have can be traced back to you and the job that you have done in raising these boys!

With this heart-felt and sincere message, Bob provided the highest praise for a parent: acknowledgement of one of the hardest jobs around. His words of thanks had a profound impact.

Take a look around. Who do you know that could benefit from a sincere and specific note of thanks that’s both unexpected and from the heart?

The concept of MBWA still has legs. Here’s how to capitalize on it.

How much time should a CEO spend interacting with company employees versus external partners? More than you might think, according to research conducted by the Harvard Business School faculty.  There is evidence interacting with “insiders” (employees and their board of directors) is more productive than interacting with people from outside the CEO’s company. The researchers noted that “for every 1 percent gain in time [that a CEO spent] with at least one insider, productivity advanced 1.23 percent.” There was no such correlation when CEOs spent time with only outsiders.

Most senior leaders would agree that staying in touch with their employee base is important. This leader-employee connection typically takes on the structured forms of town hall meetings, video broadcasts and planning sessions. But there are informal ways to stay in touch as well, often called “Management By Walking Around” (MBWA), a phrase coined in the 1980’s in the book In Search of Excellence. MBWA, the theory goes, helps senior leadership breaks down barriers that can often stymie effective communication across an organization.

A time-stressed CEO may be tempted to skip the Walking Around part and only focus on the Management part of the MBWA equation, but that would be a mistake. Wise organizational leaders make use of both formal and informal communications channels.

Here are eight ways executives can Walk Around and capitalize on timewith their “insiders”:

1. Go for a walk. Literally. Does your company have a fitness room? Hop on the treadmill once a week and strike up a conversation with the person next to you. 
2. Don’t skip lunch. Wander on down to the company cafeteria, grab a sandwich and ask to sit with a group of employees. Ask questions and listen. You might be surprised at what you learn. (After they get over the shock of having an impromptu lunch with the CEO.)
3. Play cards with employees at lunch time.
4. Wander virtually. Learn to use, and become comfortable with, social media. It’s the new water cooler. See marketing advisor Pam Moore’s great essay on 21 Things Every CEO Must Know About Twitter.
5. Make an effort to attend as many employee celebrations as humanly possible. It’s at those service anniversaries and retirement parties that the walls really come down.
6. Learn to count. As you walk around, you’re bound to run into someone who asks a question that makes your blood boil. Practice silently counting to ten before you answer.
7. Revisit the structured ways that you interact with employees. Has attendance dipped, or conversation been stale at the last few meetings? Maybe it’s time to change things up a bit.
8. Ask a trusted advisor how you can be more approachable. Oftentimes, executives are unaware of how imposing they are.

By the nature of the role they play in their organization, CEOs must be results-driven and numbers-focused. “Walking around” may seem like a waste of time. It’s not. The research bears it out: if the ambling is focused on building rapport with “insiders”, the organization gains productivity and the leader gains goodwill. That’s a winning combination worth a few hours of a CEO’s time.

photo credit: istockphoto.com © PeskyMonkey

5 Tips for Creating a “Speak Up” Culture

Phil is the president of a mid-size company that has a huge safety problem. If you were to tell him this, Phil would scoff and proudly show you his company’s OSHA records. It’s true that Phil’s company does a great job protecting the physical safety of his workers. However, it’s an entirely different type of “safety” that’s lacking, and it’s being driven by Phil’s own actions, even though he doesn’t realize it.

Like many leaders, Phil is constantly on the lookout for ways to improve his company— possible new products, ideas for process improvement and innovative ways to engage his workforce. In fact, Phil likes new ideas a little too much. New ideas represent possibility to Phil and he eagerly listens to anything that may have the promise of bringing in business for the company. When he hears an idea he likes, he immediately dispatches a team to start looking into how to implement it.

There’s a problem with these ideas— most of them aren’t aligned to the company’s core abilities. People end up chasing “opportunities” that stall because the company can’t physically produce the product at a profitable price. Or, there are unforeseen regulations that prohibit manufacture. Or, the partnership with what initially seemed to be a solid ally has turned sour. And so on.

Phil’s staff has started to call his pet projects Phil’s Follies and people dread being assigned to them. They feel that Phil’s tendency to be on the hunt for the Next Big Thing has turned into a propensity for being drawn to bright, shiny objects and nothing more.

You may be wondering, “Why doesn’t anybody speak up?” They have. And they’ve paid dearly for it. Retribution has taken many forms. People daring to suggest that the idea may not be workable have alternately received a steely-eye glare, an angry diatribe, or an intractable, overly positive, “This is a GREAT idea. Make it happen.”

The employees at Phil’s company have decided that speaking up doesn’t pay. So they stay silent. They’ve learned that it’s not safe to voice concerns, so they plod along, trying to turn half-baked ideas into productive business ventures. Hence, the “safety” problem: employees don’t feel they can safely speak up so they take path of least resistance and keep their mouths shut.

According to the website Silence Fails, this is an all-too-common phenomenon. The authors of the site conducted research that reveals that silence of this nature leads to a project failure rate of 85%. Unfortunately, Phil’s company has fallen prey to the failings of silence.

Keeping employees interpersonally safe is just as important as creating a physically safe workplace. When leaders behave in ways that make it “unsafe” to speak up, they create all sorts of communication roadblocks that lead to poor decision-making and ultimately, failed projects.

The challenge with figuring out the meaning of silence is that it’s, well . . . quiet. There’s not a lot of feedback to help direct one’s behavior. So, how’s an effective leader to know if he or she is unknowingly making it difficult for the team to speak up?

1. Don’t mistake silence for agreement. When you pitch ideas to people, look closely at their body language. Are they “open” to your idea, making eye contact and sitting slightly forward, or are they “closed”, looking away, doodling, or otherwise not connecting with you?
2. Learn to ask, “What am I missing?” This simple open-ended phrase will help begin a conversation and shows that you’re open to the notion that your idea may not be fully drawn.
3.  Reward differing viewpoints. If someone offers a differing view, begin with, “I hadn’t thought of it that way . . .” Ask follow up questions such as, “Have you considered. . .” and “What has to happen in order for you to get you comfortable with this idea?”
4.  Reflect on past interactions. If your team is normally forthright and now they’ve clammed up, something about the situation has changed. Reflect on how this current “silent” situation is different from times past. Is there a new dynamic that that’s causing the silence?
5.  Ask for feedback. The best way to get people to open up is to ask for, and then neutrally listen to their feedback. If this is new for you, then you may need to ask several times before people will step up. Be sure to sincerely thank the first person who ventures feedback—even if it’s misguided, poorly worded, or completely irrelevant. You want to reward the act of speaking up. Later, you can work on coaching people to give constructive feedback.

Leaders who operate in a Zone of Silence are not getting the benefit of their employees’ expertise. By following these five tips, leaders will create a culture where people speak up, not clam up. And that will lead to safety in all aspects of the organization— both physical and interpersonal.